Fatherless

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I have been fatherless my entire life.

From the most literal sense of the word I was conceived by a sperm donor because my dad couldn’t have kids to the more figurative version when my parents got divorced when i was 10 and my Dad moved 400 miles away. To the forever (earthly at least) version when my Dad passed away last year….on fathers day.

Recently I took the DNA test 23andme. After taking the test I was soon surprised to find that I had 9 (and counting, i guess) half siblings. My biological (donor) father existed somewhere in the world, but by the miracle of modern technology I realized that I was blood related to others around the country. Equally as much as my sister that I was raised with.

As I have been in contact with some of them I realized that while my parents told me that I was donor conceived at a young age many of the others found out when they were older or even found out when they took the test and then confronted their parents about their findings.

This new realization, for some of them, rocked their world and the desire to find their biological father was impossible to shake.

What’s really in my DNA is the thought that runs through many heads when faced with this kind of information because all that I thought I was is only half true. Who am I…really? Fully?

The same question should ring true for us spiritually. Our whole lives we live thinking that we are made up of the DNA of our earthly selves, our earthly mothers and fathers (known or unknown), but the reality we need to understand is that our DNA is really, fully from our true heavenly Father.

In 7th grade I was introduced to my reality that even though I didn’t know my biological father, and that my earthly father let me down time and again that I had a Heavenly Father that loves me.

It was then that I quit looking for my father. Not because I didn’t care about my earthly fathers acceptance, nor because I wasn’t curious about what my biological father looked like. No, I stopped looking because I found my Heavenly Father.

I found the father that etched his DNA onto my heart from the creation of the world. I found a Father that put every other possibile father to shame. A father that would never let me down that would never disappear, that would never hurt me.

Louie Giglio at Passion City has been speaking about fathers in his recent sermon series NOT FORSAKEN when he reminds us that we all have been hurt by our fathers, but when we open our hearts to our Father God he will welcome us, he won’t hurt us or forsake us. Because without our true Father we will always be searching for what’s missing in our soul. We will always be looking for that matching DNA that’s only found in a relationship with God the Father

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